PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
