Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Be still, my beating vagina.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
