Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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