CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
