Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
