How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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