Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Who died my cat blue again?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
