I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
