I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
