Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
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All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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