Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
