I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
