Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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