community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
