you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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