I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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