just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
