you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
