Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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