Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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