I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize