so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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