Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
