All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize