Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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