I must be too annoying 4 u.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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