dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
