bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
