A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
