she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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