That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
