Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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