That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
