I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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