So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
