Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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