road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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