we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
