Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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