ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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