It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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