Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
