ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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