Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
