sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
