so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
