so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.