It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"