I CAN MOONWALK!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!