Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?

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  (650): Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls? http://tfl.nu/pg74
  Replies (9) Good night (939) Bad night (1589)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

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  (518): She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog. http://tfl.nu/0zps
  Replies (10) Good night (815) Bad night (2868)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha

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  (804): Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat. (1-804): U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha http://tfl.nu/198a
  Replies (4) Good night (2255) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"

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  (314): this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy" http://tfl.nu/dlxe
  Replies (40) Good night (1979) Bad night (3993)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.

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  (305): absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me. http://tfl.nu/yste
  Replies (8) Good night (936) Bad night (3900)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.

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  (785): Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here. http://tfl.nu/9zh4
  Replies (26) Good night (3769) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  tonight lets celebrate not being married

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  (318): tonight lets celebrate not being married http://tfl.nu/u5lc
  Replies (19) Good night (7032) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.

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  (509): They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried. http://tfl.nu/h9l8
  Replies (17) Good night (2234) Bad night (4486)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it

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  (516): i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it http://tfl.nu/hj6c
  Replies (13) Good night (3051) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time

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  (808): I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/zdse
  Replies (5) Good night (1122) Bad night (2174)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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  (618): Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka (816): You're so demanding. http://tfl.nu/w483
  Replies (3) Good night (1937) Bad night (1190)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.

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  (618): I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas. http://tfl.nu/yx8c
  Replies (13) Good night (4211) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2897) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.

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  (+44): We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate. http://tfl.nu/gets
  Replies (8) Good night (2000) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?

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  (410): I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/lwsg
  Replies (1) Good night (493) Bad night (432)

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