Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.

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  (651): Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward. http://tfl.nu/djmy
  Replies (64) Good night (1857) Bad night (8421)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"

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  (215): YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP" http://tfl.nu/srh9
  Replies (12) Good night (862) Bad night (4467)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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  (917): so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center (1-917): you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth http://tfl.nu/ukvm
  Replies (78) Good night (15525) Bad night (960)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex

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  (717): He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex http://tfl.nu/v3ok
  Replies (25) Good night (5925) Bad night (1833)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE

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  (314): BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE http://tfl.nu/wuvh
  Replies (5) Good night (2389) Bad night (743)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.

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  (440): Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table. http://tfl.nu/pm1l
  Replies (3) Good night (2006) Bad night (1045)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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  (317): You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order. http://tfl.nu/45qd
  Replies (7) Good night (798) Bad night (1591)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people

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  (406): I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people http://tfl.nu/t3r3
  Replies (7) Good night (916) Bad night (453)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"

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  (845): Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him" http://tfl.nu/pb7e
  Replies (9) Good night (1340) Bad night (645)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.

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  (469): Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg. http://tfl.nu/v8uq
  Replies (5) Good night (1223) Bad night (381)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country

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  (740): Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country http://tfl.nu/207x
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (239)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.

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  (512): Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed. http://tfl.nu/bj7a
  Replies (12) Good night (360) Bad night (905)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  & I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley

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  (317): & I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley http://tfl.nu/1on6
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (303)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.

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  (316): You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza. http://tfl.nu/b79k
  Replies (4) Good night (338) Bad night (862)
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  (714): View more from California

  Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.

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  (714): Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight. http://tfl.nu/ptsd
  Replies (5) Good night (614) Bad night (230)

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