idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
