His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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