well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
