Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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