Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
