How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
