when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
People with herpes should wear stickers.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize