32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
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I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
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Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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