There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
