I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
