Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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