You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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