drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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