we have officially lost it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
