i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize