So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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