Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
